This blog and everything directly to do with it is not for profit. Period. I don’t think it would be right for me to profit directly from someone else’s movie, performance, reputation, writing or whatever. This blog is a work of satirical fan fiction, and that is all I ever plan for it to be.

BUT. Let’s face it, the internet is a great place to transform good will into real change. If you enjoy this blog and you want to support it somehow, I would be delighted if you would donate to cancer research instead. For the late Patrick Swayze, the late Jeff Healey, the late Ben Gazzara, and the millions of less famous but no less beloved human beings who pass away from one form of cancer or another every year.

It’s as simple as that. If you like The Throat Unripp’d and you want to support it, donate to cancer research. If I ever publish a book or make merchandise related to this blog for people to buy, again all profits will go to cancer research. If a new society organizes itself around the blog, elevating it to a state religion, I will insist in our new constitution that the economy funnels all profits into cancer research.

I think you get the point. And sure, I know, it is possible that I will benefit indirectly from the blog, because I make other stuff and you might decide to check it out too. That’s perfectly fine and I think even an accomplished philosopher like James Dalton would confirm it to be reasonably ethical. But I am not expecting that to happen, you know? I am not counting on it. And if, by some strange miracle, I come to realize that I am being significantly (though indirectly) enriched by this blog, do you know what I will do?

I will donate the profits to cancer research.

In fact, I will go one better: if you make a contribution to cancer research and you send me some kind of proof (plus your address), I will send you something cool* for free. It might be a postcard that I make exclusively for donors. It might be a sticker. It might be a small piece of original art. Let me put it this way: the more you donate, the more I will send you. If you donate over a hundred bucks, you’re getting a signed book at the very least.

Thanks for your attention, for being a fan of the blog, and most of all, for donating to cancer research. If you want to take me up on the donate-for-cool-stuff offer, email me at heyscottmarshall@gmail.com with your address and your proof of donation. Please don’t send me any bank account numbers or confidential stuff apart from your address.  Peace.

*Actual coolness of item not guaranteed.

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